After going Instagram crazy over the two days I spent at my boyfriend’s house, I have come to realise that the vast majority of Instagram shots can be used to represent one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Lust – Whatever it is that you’re lusting after, you should probably take a fake retro picture of it.
Envy – In the Instagram sense, this is quite closely related to lust. Are you totes jel of that girl’s flatforms? Catch a clandestine picture of them. Just hope she doesn’t see you. When you’re me, you are overcome with lust and envy in the most bizarre of places: a staircase at The Piece Hall in Halifax, where I saw a beautiful wall mural that I now want on my bedroom walls. Yep.
Gluttony – St Thomas Aquinas thought that there were six types of gluttony. They were: eating too soon, eating too expensively, eating too much, eating too eagerly, eating too daintily, and eating too boringly. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of one of these – and probably guilty of Instagramming them as well. Bear this in mind when you’re quickly snapping your decadent meal before scarfing it down. Also bear it in mind when you take yet another picture of your morning porridge.
Pride – I took two fancy looking pictures of myself. One, because I was rather chuffed with the collar, jumper and moose necklace combination that I had on that day. Another, simply because my hair looked quite nice. The ability to make yourself look instantly more attractive with the application of a grainy filter is very tempting… and very hard to resist.
Greed – Greed isn’t actually about food. It’s about pursuing wealth, status and power above all else. There’s no need to take a picture of your bank balance if it’s looking particularly healthy (nor, for that matter, is there any need to do this if it’s looking a little under the weather). Guess what else falls under the definition of greed? Hoarding. That’s a nice picture of your 726 bottles of nail varnish…
Vainglory – Vainglory is not quite the same thing as vanity, as the ‘vain’ part of the word actually means something more similar to ‘futile’. So vainglory is futile boasting – bragging about things that you have no real reason to be boasting about. How does this relate to Instagram? ‘I JUST HAD THE BEST CUP OF TEA EVER’, accompanied by a picture of a plain mug of builder’s tea – this is something that has probably happened somewhere on the internet. If you must brag, wait until you’ve done something awesome.
Sloth – The sin of sloth is not only the laziness itself, but also the failure to use your energy and talents. So when you take an arty picture of your slippers, make sure that you’re using your energy and talent. I wear my amazingly adorable new slippers around the house (though they look so much like cute flats that if I were to lose all self respect I could just wear them out for the day) but I make sure that I’m doing something even vaguely useful while I’ve got them on.
Apathy – Otherwise known as Acedia, though nobody really knows what that means. Acedia means a state of listlessness, almost a kind of melancholy. So if you choose to let your coursework build up in a pile on your desk, and the dishes stack up in the sink, and then instead of doing anything about it, you take a picture of it and post it to Twitter? You, my friend, are a sinner. And you’re probably not very fun to follow on Twitter either.
Wrath – So you’re just fuming, livid, foaming at the mouth, out of your mind with anger over the fact that your train is delayed by an hour and a half? That’s fine. I understand. Does the world need to see a picture of the departures board at the station with a pretentious vintage filter put over it? No, no it does not.
Are you guilty of any of the Seven Deadly Sins – Instagram or otherwise?