If you don’t know what I mean by ‘Facebook likes’, look here. They are pages that people can like, and more often than not are quotes, observations or anecdotes. The idea itself isn’t all that terrible. The execution, however, leads to it being a place where decency and taste go to die. Maybe I’m grumpy, angry and old before my time. It’s a possibility, and I think I’m alright with it.
Between racism, homophobia and rape jokes, we find the word ‘slut’ being bandied around, and occasionally personal attacks. Recently a friend of mine liked the page ‘Riding your Girlfriend softly cause you dont want to wake her up‘. I find everything about this completely disgusting, from the idea of having sex with someone while they are sleeping, to the fact that 69,496 people, including my friend, think this is either acceptable or hilarious. Rape jokes are not, and will never, be ok. (If, for some reason, you need to know why this is, please head over to STFU Rape Culture @ Tumblr and search for a post made about rape jokes. While you’re there, read everything else. Thanks.) I’m slightly happier to say that I looked on the page now and have found a raging battle in the comments between decent humans saying things along the line of ‘having sex with a sleeping person is definitely rape; rape jokes are a very bad thing; people should not be liking this page’ and nasty little scrotes saying things along the lines of ‘it’s only a joke; rape jokes don’t make people rape; a sleeping girl would probably want it if she were awake’ (and some other stuff I would not be ok with copy&pasting or even rephrasing). It’s nice to know that people are willing to argue about this, even against people who don’t seem to want to listen, or worse, those who think it’s cool to say ‘edgy’, offensive things. (Once again, if you need to know: it’s not. There is plenty written on the matter by people who can say it far better than I can. I will link anyone who wants to read.)
I found another page, which I can’t seem to link to, telling us the ‘top 10 reasons why guys rule.’ These reasons range from number one, ‘I can stick my dick in your mouth’, to number nine, ‘I can stick it in your mouth while I play games’, culminating in number ten, ‘I have a dick is why I rule, bitches’. The rest of the reasons are similar, in that they are places on your body that the creator of this page assumes he can put his dick into. Well, what a highly convincing argument as to why men are superior to women. You’ve just discounted feminism completely! Or not. Thankfully this hasn’t reached the level of popularity as the page I first mentioned, with less than 500 followers. Still, there is something important to say to those people: if your sole reason for your superiority is your dick and the various places you can stick it, you need to stop viewing women/people as holes into which to place your penis, and find something better to do.
Then we get to the casual, rampant use of the word ‘slut’. (If you’d like to know why you shouldn’t just throw the word around, please read this) If you do a Facebook search for ‘slut’, then filter it so you only see the pages, you have to scroll for a while to get past the ones that are just called ‘slut’ and say nothing else, but when you do, it gets ugly. The general gist of a lot of the is ‘He’s my boyfriend, don’t talk to him, you slut’. Why are we calling girls sluts for talking to our boyfriends? Why do girls need to call girls sluts all the time? Also, if you don’t trust your boyfriend, please don’t assume it is the responsibility of the girls you see as sluts to stay away from him. It should be his responsibility to stay faithful to you. We also see ‘You are a slut, get hit by a car’ and ‘You’re ugly but you’re a slut, how does that work?’ Does anyone really wish horrible accidents on people because of their sex life (or the perception of their sex life, their reputation, a rumour etc)? Also, ugly is subjective: just because you think somebody is, doesn’t mean other people do. Never mind that somebody’s looks have nothing to do with their sex life. There is a page called, quite tellingly, ‘”She’s a slut” “Is she really?” “Nah, I just don’t like her”‘.
‘You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.‘ – Mean Girls
‘Slut-bashing is a cheap and easy way to feel powerful. If you feel insecure or ashamed about your own sexual desires, all you have to do is call a girl a “slut” and suddenly you’re the one who is “good” and on top of the social pecking order.‘ – Leora Tanenbaum
- I am not saying STFU Rape Culture or Feminism 101 are the best or only sources of information about the issues I’ve raised. They are simply the ones I read the most.
- I have been guilty of using the word ‘slut’ to belittle other females in the past, but I’ve seen the error of my ways and I’m working on changing my language and attitude. Other people ought to as well.
- I tried to be as articulate as I could in this post but some things make me so angry that I start to ramble and try to cram all my opinions into one sentence. Sorry!
- I might make another post dealing with the pages showing racism, homophobia, and personal attacks. Watch this space!